Sex Is Not The Enemy
Merlin RPF, Bradley/Colin, NC-17, ~2500 words, AO3
"Oh god!" Bradley's eyes widen and he backs towards the door, flailing blindly for the handle to pull it shut behind him. Brain bleach, he decides as he hurriedly steps out into the hotel corridor. Failing that, copious amounts of alcohol. Anything as long as he won't remember this in the morning.
It's the startled yelp followed by a thud and a muffled "ow" that stops him from pulling the door shut the rest of the way. He pauses outside of Colin’s room and allows himself a brief moment to lament that he's too good a mate to continue his escape.
Bradley turns, one hand still on the handle, and rests the other flat against the door.
"Colin, mate? You all right?"
"Yes," Colin says, sounding irritated. "No. Ow."
Alarmed at the repeated exclamation of pain, Bradley pushes the door open a little further then hesitates. "Are you, erm. Are you decent?"
A snort, some shuffling. "Come in then, you great pillock."
"Oi!" he cries and pushes the door open, marching in. "You don't get to call me names when you've just traumatised me for life!"
Colin is sitting on the floor by the bed, rubbing the back of his tousled head. There's a pillow covering his lap, otherwise he's naked. The state of him does a lot to soften his glare. "Why didn't you knock!"
"Why didn't you," Bradley counters hotly, "lock the door when you're--when you, um." Suddenly Bradley doesn't know where to put his eyes.
"You can say it, Bradley. 'When you plan on sucking your own cock.' See? The world didn't end."
Bradley gapes at Colin. He feels himself go hot all over. "You can't just say that! How can you just--I just caught you--aren't you the least bit embarrassed?"
Colin gives him a look that says 'you're daft'. "Nothing to be embarrassed about," Colin says. "Hardly my fault you're a bit of a prude."
"Prude!" Bradley bristles. "I get-- I've done-- Positions! Different ones. Loads! You want a list? I can--."
"Bradley, stop talking before you hurt yourself," Colin sighs and Bradley's mouth snaps shut.
"Wouldn't you do it if you could?" Colin asks, and another wave of heat rolls over Bradley. "Suck your own cock?" Colin clarifies, and Bradley can't shake the feeling that it's deliberate, that Colin won't let him get away without acknowledging what he's witnessed.
"No," Bradley says and Colin tilts his head at him. "Maybe? I don't know!" he says defensively. "It's not something I thought about."
"Well, I can, and I do. Sometimes." Colin feels the back of his head again, wincing. "Is this going to be a problem? 'Cause I think people might ask questions when they notice that you won't look me in the eye anymore."
Bradley had started moving at Colin's wince and kneels next to him now. "It does seem a bit difficult right this moment," Bradley concedes. "I'll get over it." He feels the bump on the back of Colin's head with careful fingers. "Does it hurt a lot?"
"Only if you prod it." Colin scowls and Bradley eases up a little.
Colin's hair is very soft and Bradley is close enough to catch the faint smell of shampoo which does odd, fluttery things to his stomach.
"Bradley. Quit fondling my hair, please."
He snatches his hand away. "How did this happen anyway? The bump," he clarifies quickly, before Colin can ask him if he means sucking his own cock. He would have, too, the bastard.
"Well. As you can imagine there's a certain amount of acrobatics involved. Balance, too. You startled me, I tumbled off the bed." Colin's eyes narrow. "If you tell anyone about this--."
Bradley presses his lips together to keep the laugh in. He holds up his hands. "Your secret is safe with me."
Colin's eyes stay narrowed and he leans in, so close that Bradley's eyes cross.
Bradley blinks and leans back. "What?"
"What if I don't believe you?" Colin says and twists his lips.
"It's safe!" Bradley insists. "I won't tell, I swear."
"You blurt. You do it all the time! Like that one time Katie made you promise not to tell about her crush on Keanu Reeves and the next day everyone knew!"
"That was an accident! And anyway, I thought you weren't embarrassed."
Colin crosses his arms in front of his chest, unimpressed. "I'm not. Doesn't mean I want everyone to know what I get up to in the bedroom."
"I already promised, what else can I do!" The sudden twinkle in Colin's eye reminds him of the time he spotted the same look in Angel's, right before she dumped a bucket of ice on him.
And then Colin says, "You could watch," and Bradley's mouth goes dry.
"I don't. Um. No. No, no." But it's too late Bradley is already thinking about it; an image flits through his head and his stomach does that fluttery thing again. He's so distracted by it all he forgets to move away when Colin leans in again, breath tickling Bradley's lips.
"You're curious, I can tell," Colin says. "You watch, yeah? And then, whenever you get the urge to blurt, you'll flush instead, remembering, and you'll stammer a bit and then go off to have a wank."
Bradley swallows, tries to ignore that his cock seems to like what Colin is saying, seems to like Colin. "This is so wrong," Bradley says with feeling, and Colin gets up pillow falling to the floor and leaving nothing to the imagination.
"It's so wrong it's right," Colin announces and gets on the bed. "Lock the door and come here."
Bradley stares, then stares some more, and finally he scrambles to his feet and goes to the door, locking it. He doesn't know what he's doing, why he isn't cracking a joke and leaving. He should be leaving. He must be losing his mind.
Bradley returns to the bed on shaky legs and sits down at the end of it, farthest from where Colin is kneeling and lazily stroking himself to hardness, smiling at Bradley like there's nothing odd about this situation at all. Bradley can't help but stare at Colin's long fingers as they work his cock which is hard now, long and thin and curving slightly upwards. Oh god, Bradley thinks. Oh god, oh god, oh god.
"Breathe," Colin says and Bradley drags his eyes up to find Colin's own shining with humour.
"I don't." He swallows and tries again. "I don't know if this is. I mean I've never," he stammers.
"Shh, it's all right," Colin says and lies down. "Just watch."
He's going to do it right there in the middle of the bed, won't even use the headboard for support the wretched show-off, Bradley thinks weakly, and then he can't think at all because Colin swings his hips up, legs flying in the air. Colin wobbles for a moment before he catches his balance and slowly lowers down his knees, very nearly bending in half.
Colin's eyes flutter shut when he touches the tip of his tongue to his cock, licking away a drop of pre-come before wrapping his lips around the head and sucking, cheeks hollowing. Colin moans around his cock and Bradley can't breathe. He's sweating through his t-shirt, doesn't know when the room got this hot or where all the air went. His eyes are glued to Colin's lips, the hollow of his cheeks as he sucks himself, the careful movement of Colin's hips as he tries to bend just a bit more, tries to take more of himself into his mouth.
Unconsciously Bradley leans forward, closer, only realizing it when the mattress dips and Colin's eyes, unfocused with arousal, fly open as he loses his balance and begins to topple over backwards.
Bradley freezes, wide eyes locked with Colin's startled ones when he suddenly finds himself with Colin's leg hooked over his shoulder. One of Bradley's hands has closed tightly around Colin's calf, fingers of the other digging into Colin's thigh, holding him up awkwardly. But more importantly, more embarrassingly, Colin's arse is in his lap resting against the hard line of Bradley's cock.
"Sorry!" Bradley lets go of Colin as if burned, moving backwards hurriedly until they're no longer touching. "You were going to fall," Bradley says, trying to sound less panicked than he feels.
Colin is watching him so intently that Bradley has to look away. He glances at the door, thinks now would be a good time to leave and get drunk like he had intended.
"Bradley," Colin says, trying to get his attention, but Bradley can't make himself look. "Bradley if you want." Colin trails off and a moment later Bradley feels a hesitant touch at his thigh. When he says nothing Colin slowly moves his hand up, higher and higher until his fingers brush Bradley's cock.
Bradley sucks in a breath. "I don't know," he says in a rush. "I don't know if I. Colin, I've never."
"Did you like it?" Colin asks and Bradley looks at him then, slides his eyes over Colin's body, takes in the hard length of him resting against his belly, before settling on his face. Colin looks calm, calm and completely--gorgeous. Bradley turns the thought over in his head, finds that confusingly, it feels more right than wrong.
"Did you like what you saw, Bradley?" Colin asks again. His fingers have stilled but are resting on Bradley's cock still, the heat of them seeping through the denim.
"Yes." His voice breaks on the word and he feels embarrassed suddenly, embarrassed that he's confused and insecure, things that he thought he'd left behind long ago when it came to sex.
"There's no shame in this," Colin says as if he can read Bradley's mind. "If you like it, if it feels right. It's nothing you need be embarrassed for."
He takes a breath, releases it slowly. "I liked it," Bradley says, swallowing, and then, because it feels important somehow, feels like a step he needs to take, "I liked watching you suck your cock." It comes out in a rush but he doesn't stutter; his voice doesn't break.
Colin's smile is like the sun, blinding and warm and uplifting. Colin sits up and moves closer, wicked fingers cupping the length of him, rubbing him through his jeans. "What about this?"
Bradley closes his eyes at the sensation, mulls it over in his head. Colin. Sex. Sex with Colin. There's no shame in this, Colin had said. If you like it, if it feels right.
Bradley licks his lips and opens his eyes. "I like it," he says. "I like that it's--it's you. I like that."
There's something else in Colin's eyes now, something hopeful. "I want to take care of this for you." He gives Bradley cock a squeeze. "Will you let me? Will you, Bradley?"
Colin's fingers feel good, so good they're making it hard to think. Sluggishly his brain supplies him with the image of Colin, lips wrapped around his cock, and Bradley remembers wondering what Colin tasted like. His cock twitches and Bradley groans. "Can I--can I do you?"
Colin's fingers still and Bradley worries he said something wrong, that maybe Colin doesn't want Bradley touching him, but then Colin's fingers burrow into his hair and Colin pulls him closer, touches their foreheads together.
"Oh. Oh Bradley. Of course." Colin laughs a little. "Anything. Anything you want." And then he touches his lips to Bradley's and the world lights up, pieces that Bradley never realized had been misaligned all his life slotting into place.
Colin breaks the contact, probably confused because Bradley had been too stunned to kiss back. Colin looks unsure for the first time since Bradley walked in and Bradley can't take it, needs Colin to be absolutely certain of this for the both of them. "Don't stop," he says and takes Colin's face into his hands and kisses him properly. After a moment Colin's fingers tighten in his hair and then he's kissing Bradley back, pulling him up so that they're both on their knees, pushing their hips together and Bradley groans into his mouth as Colin grinds against him.
"Wait, wait," Bradley gasps and tears his mouth away to pull his t-shirt over his head while Colin works open his jeans and pushes them down his hips. Bradley groans again when Colin wraps his fingers around his cock, strokes him once, twice, then shuffles back and bends down and wraps his lips around the head of Bradley's cock.
"Oh fuck, fuck," Bradley starts, hips bucking, and Colin laughs delighted, looking up at him for just a moment before he slides his lips further down, taking more of Bradley into his mouth.
"Oh god, oh-- I can't-- oh god, I won't last. Colin, Colin, I--." He holds on for dear life, fingers tightening and releasing in Colin's hair as Colin sucks him with such enthusiasm and joy that Bradley doesn’t stand a chance of making it last.
"Col, Col," he gasps urgently through the haze of pleasure and Colin finally takes notice and pulls off, fingers seamlessly replacing his mouth as he strokes Bradley hard and fast until he spills over his hand.
As Bradley sits back on his heels, breathing harshly, Colin slides a hand up his chest, kisses his shoulder and sucks lightly on his neck before soothing the spot with his tongue.
"Does this make me gay?" Bradley wonders dizzily and feels Colin shake with laughter.
"Can we not worry about silly labels until after you've done me?"
There's a pause, then Colin sits back and looks at him, face carefully blank. "It's all right if you changed your mind."
"No." Bradley surprises himself by how quick the answer comes, how easy. He touches his palm to Colin's cheek, drags his thumb along the bone. "Just give me a moment, yeah?"
Colin smiles, nods, and lets himself drop backwards, bouncing briefly before the mattress stills. Bradley laughs and drops down next to him, kicking off his jeans the rest of the way before rolling over on his back.
They lie side by side in comfortable silence for a while, breath slowing and skin cooling.
"Sex is not the enemy," Colin says suddenly.
"Hm? Oh, nothing."
Bradley glances at Colin, at the amused tilt of his lips and telling eye crinkles. Colin Morgan, co-worker, mate, life coach. Bradley would have never believed it if he hadn't lived it.
"What did you come over for anyway?" Colin asks, eying him out of the corner of his eye.
"Oh. Thought we could watch a movie or something."
Silence, then, "More fun than watching a movie, this."
He catches sight of Colin wriggling his toes and Bradley can't help but smile. "Yeah."
They turn their heads and grin at each other.
"Think I'm ready to return that favour, now," Bradley announces and rolls over, fits one leg between Colin's as Colin settles his hands on either side of Bradley's hips and Bradley pushes his fingers into the mop of Colin's hair.
"Yeah?" Colin asks, eyes shining and Bradley smiles down at him.
"Yeah," he says and lowers his head for a kiss.